Yesterday morning as I was dressing up for the day, I spotted my buttocks in the mirror. Somehow, I felt compelled to stop and look. Suddenly I had this realization. I am already aware, but once again had to be reminded that, “Toto, you are no longer looking at Beyonce’s butt.” Though that was not the realization. I realized as I was inspecting my behind, how crude it would be to expose it to others, to show it to men who are not my husband, or to the world. And yet, famous women deliberately do it.

Perhaps if mine were nice-looking, would I not want to show them off too? And for money? We are not talking about seeing people’s rears in a public pool or the beach. That’s just the norm in those places and generally, no one pays attention. I’m talking about posing in front of a professional’s camera to flaunt one’s buttocks in exchange for a talent fee.

Like what talent? And who pays for it? And for whom?

What I realized is there is just something very indecent about it. Some of us may have already grasped that idea, but this morning’s realization is a personal one. It’s like matters pertaining to cleavage and women’s breasts. Three infants extracted milk from mine. And looking at my sagging breasts, these female anatomical parts should really not be objects of sexual desires (at least not for other men). What they are is a source of life-giving food for little humans. It was the same realization I had a few years ago when I wrote about women purposely displaying their cleavage in public. Maybe there’s something I do not know, or I do not get.

You can try this if you wish. Lock the door behind you and in front of a mirror, pull down your pants or lift up your skirt. Examine how your buttocks look like and ask yourself, “Would I be willing to expose them for the world to see?” You may not have the same epiphany as I had but try it anyway. Feel free to share your findings.


It feels out of place writing about the topic of being dumped in the midst of the Corona Virus global pandemic (one can create an entire blog on this unprecedented worldwide event). But I happen to remember a song that may go well with losing someone in a romantic relationship, either by being let go by the other person, or for another reason that is not deliberately done by the other person.

Have you been dumped before? I have. Man…that was painful. Thankfully, that happened many, many years ago. And I got over it after a year. I hated the guy so much when he did that to me. All I could think of were his negative qualities – or in fairness to him, what I perceived back then were his negative qualities. Because now, I believe that how you perceive people and things hugely depends on what is going on within you.

Looking back, I could see later on the wisdom of having done that on his part. He had to let me go because it just was NOT working (due to differing values). A few years later, our communication resumed, just a simple hello via email. There were no hard feelings anymore. He seemed to have wanted to start again at least the friendship. But I did not see the point anymore in even maintaining that. So I just let the contact die off in a subtle way. I realized he really is a nice and caring man. My understanding is that he has remarried (was divorced from his first wife), and I am happy for him.

I learned that when a relationship ends, it may be painful for a period of time. You may feel that the pain will never end. But trust that in time, you will get over it and move on, look back and even say, “That was not a waste of time,” because you gained experience and learned some important lessons in life.

What becomes of a really great idea without action? Nothing.

– Paraphrased from “Fresh Off the Boat”